Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Jennifer Lopez Sex Tape?
MAIL ONLINE - Jennifer Lopez's legal battle to keep embarrassing home video from her first marriage under wraps has failed. The singer's ex-husband Ojani Noa has won the fight, that has been ongoing for years, to release footage from their short lived marriage. Noa managed to find a loophole in the law that allowed the release of the tape. He apparently sold the footage to his girlfriend Claudia Vazquez for her to release, according to RadarOnline. The American Idol judge had successfully managed to block the release, saying that Noa making the footage public violated the confidentiality agreement that he signed after he divorced the star. In a ruling issued by a Los Angeles judge this morning, Vasquez is now allowed to release the footage that JLo has been battling so hard to keep under lock and key. Ed Meyer who is Noa's agent and the executive producer of the project said the release of the tape is now imminent...
There's one huge reason that I can't wait to see this epic production - J-Lo's ass. It's the stuff of legend. Just to see that thing gettin' pounded would be worth the price of admission, a large popcorn and a box of tissues. I'm gettin' the trench-coat ready. Release the hounds!
Tori Spelling Looking Fugly As Hell In A Bikini
Enough! Make it stop! The fake boobs are saggin', the face is butt-ugly and the belly button's pointin' the wrong way. Put some clothes on, dammit. And the face has become a total two-bagger. This nastiness just should not be seen in public.
Women's Softball Highlights From The Weekend
Wow. These chicks are pretty good, huh? As Cedric Maxwell would say, "Go in the kitchen and make me some bacon and eggs." Yeesh.
Supermodel Eva Herzigova Shows Off The Bikini Body In Italy
Just a little over two months since she had a kid? Lookin' tight for a 38-year-old. Yummy Mummy alert!
Ohio State's Jim Tressel Resigns - I Told You So
I hate to say I told ya so, but I told ya so. Here's what I posted about Tressel back on March 9th:
Bahtendah Wisdom - Pay Attention!
Ohio State has handed down a two game suspension and a $250,000 fine to coach Jim Tressel. It's a joke. Tressel is supended for games against lightweights Akron and Toledo and trust me, the $250k won't hurt him at all. This is a guy that makes an estimated $3.5 Mill per year. Yahoo! Sports first reported that Tressel was aware of the memorabilia scheme that his players pulled, exchanging swag for tattoos for months and didn't notify the NCAA.
This is a preemptive strike by Ohio State, hoping to slap Tressel's wrist before the NCAA comes in and lowers the boom. News flash: This shit happens all the time at major college sports programs. The violations are so rampant and widespread that the NCAA probably catches about 10% of the crap goin' on out there. I had a friend who played basketball at Boston College. He told me that there were envelopes of cash in every player's locker after each game. The amount you received was proportional to how you performed in that day's game. Score a lot in a big win and you get a little more. But everyone on the team had a postgame envelope whether you even got off the bench or not. Cash money. Untraceable.
Here's what I think: Where there's smoke, there' fire. I'm betting that if Tressel is put under more intense scrutiny, lots of other dirty little secrets will be uncovered. First of all, he's under incredible pressure to win. Not his fault, but he took the job and cashes the checks. And pressure makes people make stupid decisions. Secondly, and this is just a gut feeling, but Jimmy Boy just looks a little too smarmy and self-righteous for my liking. Mr. Prim-And-Proper-Dresser has some skeletons in the closet and the bone collectors are coming.
Wake up people, it's time to pay these top D1 athletes in revenue-producing programs over the table, because all the shit that's under the table is startin' to stink to high heaven. Until you do, the scandals will just keep comin'. Bang. Pay atention!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Happy Memorial Day, Speakeasies!!!
...Just some footage of American and British troops gettin' it done. While you're enjoying your three-day weekend, take a minute to recognize what these folks do for us on a daily basis.
We'll be back full time tomorrow. USA! USA! USA!
Friday, May 27, 2011
It's Porn But It's Not
I don't know whether I like this video or not. On one hand it's pretty clever, but on the other hand it's the biggest tease I've ever seen. If I didn't know any better I would've thought it was made by some ball-bustin' chick, but it appears to have been made by a guy. I guess because of that fact I'm gonna go thumbs-down on this one.
New Sport - Human Bowling!
I hear it's all the rage over in Europe these days. The latest, greatest fast-paced sport to hit the continent since Parkour. This dude seems to have the concept down pretty well. Because, yes indeed, the best place to achieve the highest score is to sneak up on people using the crosswalk. Unless of course you wanna go for the gold and try rip-roaring down the inside of a crowded mall. Dude is the motorcycle version of Dick Weber.
Egyptian Teacher Beats The Shit Out Of His Students
I love this freakin' guy. I bet all of his students end up being doctors or lawyers or rocket scientists. Spare the rod, spoil the child I say. I went to Catholic school as a kid and the nuns were way worse than this. They'd hold your hand down and literally bust your knuckles. The thing was, they didn't have to do it very often once we all got the message. And what they got was a whole classroom full of kids that never gave 'em any shit at all. Watch out for the next generation of free Egyptians, the new world leaders.
Porn Star Riley Steele Loves To Tweet Naked Photos Of Herself
Let's see - a hot chick who loves sex and posts naked pictures of herself. Check. Follow her on Twitter - you'll be glad you did. You're welcome.
Tennis Ads Or Soft Porn?
So there's been all this controversy and outrage over these WTA ads with people complaining that they objectify woman. Are you kiddin' me? I say they don't go far enough. You want more people to watch women's tennis? Put 'em in bikinis. The numbers would skyrocket. It's the only reason anyone watches women's beach volleyball. Two words: sex sells. Pay attention!
Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler's Fiancee, Kristin Cavallari Looks Pissed To Be Wearing A Bikini
Hey sista, lighten the fuck up! You're making cake for having no talent whatsoever and you're about to get married to an NFL quarterback. Why the long face? And oh yeah, outstanding camel-toe.
Mexican Cops Suspended For Forcing Young Woman To Strip For Her Freedom
MEXICO - A group of leering police officers allegedly forced a young woman they had detained to strip in front of them - in exchange for her release. Now all 15 of them - including three women - have been suspended after an explicit video emerged showing at least one uniformed officer groping the woman as she performs a lap dance while the others cheer and chant. The woman had been arrested along with a male friend for allegedly possessing stolen bank cards and cheques in the Mexican border city of Tijuana...
Sometimes I wish I was a chick. I'd never get into any trouble. It's like "All I need to do to get out of jail is strip, dance and let you fondle my boobs? Let's get it on!" This chick didn't seem too bothered by the whole experience. And from what I know about the cops in Mexico she probably got off easy. She's lucky they weren't in the mood for the donkey show.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
For $7.2 Million, You Can Be WINNING Like Charlie Sheen
STARPULSE - Charlie Sheen is trying to put his troubled past behind him by selling off the sprawling Los Angeles mansion which once played host to the actor's notoriously wild alcohol and drug binges. The former Two and a Half Men star, who previously shared the pad with estranged wife Brooke Mueller, has placed the house up for sale in a bid to move on from his hard partying ways and damaged reputation. The Beverly Hills estate, which Sheen dubbed Sober Valley Ranch, is listed for $7.2 million and boasts five bedrooms, a landscaped yard, an outdoor pool and spa, as well as a top-of-the-line screening room, reports TMZ.com.
I hope the price includes a thorough bleaching to clean all the bodily fluids that must be dried up all over the place. Duh, CLEANING!
Coco's "Thong Thursday" Photo
I think it's about time we declared Coco's ass to be the 8th Wonder of the World. How she stops the cream cheese from creepin' in is beyond me. And it's not so much the ass, it's the tiny waist that goes along with it. Body just made for sex.
Kim Kardashian Sues Over Her Boobs Being Used On An Album Cover
FOXNEWS - Kim Kardashian is so familiar with her own naked body, she recently noticed a photo of her own bare breasts on an unauthorized album cover, and immediately sent her lawyers into attack mode. Turns out, two music producers -- Terrace Martin and Devi Dev -- used a photo of a woman's bare chest on the cover of their album "Terrace Martin & Devi Dev Present: The Sex EP." It just so happens the image was a close up from Kim's nude photo spread in W magazine. Kim's lawyers fired off a cease and desist letter to Terrace and Devi demanding they swap out the pic. "We cannot imagine why you thought you had the right to use this photograph without permission," the letter stated. T and D immediately replaced the photo with another woman's bare bosom, claiming they had no idea the original breasts belonged to Kim. "We didnt even know they were her boobies because obviously I don't recognize her by her nipples," Devi Dev told TMZ.
How could you not recognize those nipples? They're the most famous tits on the interwebberbloggernet. And Kim, c'mon, the picture's already out there. Just lookin' to cash in a little more before your fifteen minutes are up? America's #1 Fame-Whore.
Lakers Hire Mike Brown As Kobe Bryant's New Babysitter
The Lakers are done. You read it here first. This guy couldn't even get LeBron to try during the playoffs last year. Now he's supposed to coach Kobe? Not happenin'. The Celtics 17 titles are safe as long as this fool is around. Guaranteed.
The Craziest Baseball Bat Flip You'll Ever See
Bat got a woody - must've seen a hot chick in the stands....
Upskirt Photo Of Pippa Middleton
This chick is gonna be fun. First we had the bikini photos, then the topless photos and now a peek at the cooch. Keep 'em comin' you little tart!
The Queen Of England Shits All Over America
Last week it was Ireland, when this wrinkle-puss and her slimeball pal Prince Phillip refused to even take a sip of Guinness. This week it's the good ol' US of A. What kind of bitch directs her minions to start playing the national anthem before the Leader Of The Free World has finished his toast? The balls on this old bag! She's a dried-up old figurehead with no influence in the real world. Does this prune actually still think she has any power? I have more power than the Queen of England. Obama should've slapped that bitch silly. That's what John Wayne would've done. Then he'd beat the shit out of a few of the men, finish his drink and walk out of the place. Go fuck yourself, old lady. Pay attention!
From Russia - The Human Door-Knocker
Further proof that Russkies drink vodka all day every day. With eggs for breakfast, with borscht for lunch and with caviar for dinner. There's just no drunker nation on the planet. Suck 'em down, Ivan!
Slutty-Looking Whore Tries To Seduce Senior Citizen
Just what does this hosebag think she's gonna accomplish here? Even gramps is completely unimpressed by this nastiness. Chica obviously can't land any cock her own age or close to it, and now she's learnin' she can't even bag an oldie-oldster. Try the convent, sister. Pay attention!
Miss Zimbabwe Personality Loses Her Crown Over Allegations Of Boozing, Sex Orgies
ZIMBABWE - Lungile Mathe has been dethroned as Miss Tourism Zimbabwe's Miss Personality Zimbabwe 2011 for "contract violations," including sex orgies, alcoholism, and theft, according to a state pageant official. Lungile, won her title three months ago but has made headlines for all the wrong reasons, attracting negative publicity for the Zimbabwe Tourism Authority, the brand licence holders of the Miss Zimbabwe beauty pageant. She was shown the door last week. The Zimbabwe Tourism Authority decided to fire Lungile a month after it gave her a second chance. Sugar Chagonda, ZTA spokesman said Lungile was a beautiful young woman, but the ZTA could not countenance her "unbecoming and uncouth" behaviour, adding the tourism authority could not afford to continue having her as the country's flag bearer. He said the ZTA wished her well as she pursues her other interests. Lungile has been accused of stealing a Rolex watch from a US- based man, Mandla Sithole after a sex orgy in a dinghy Bulawayo lodge. She denied stealing the watch in a report she made to the ZTA defending herself, claiming the man had misplaced his watch. The ZTA has been receiving reports of her drunkenness in Bulawayo pubs, and her propensity to be nuisance if she is drunk. Chagonda said she had been warned several times but threw caution to the wind. "Unfortunately it had to come to this," he said. Lungile was not immediately available for comment.
Party on, Lugile! I'd say this chick gets around. Hey, come to America, enter a few pageants and get Donald Trump to stand up for ya. It just might work.
Stacy Keibler Rocks The Bikini On A Yacht In Cannes
I have no idea who this chick is but she looks hot in a bikini, the scenery is awesome, the boat looks fantastic and I can't wait for Summer. So there ya go....
Elderly Widower Loses $100,000 He Gave To A Prostitute So She Could Build A House
AUSTRALIA - AN ELDERLY widower who gave a Melbourne prostitute more than $100,000 to build a house has failed in a court bid to get her to repay the money. The County Court heard Michele Nesci, 76, began weekly sessions with a prostitute Wanita Knell, 34, at his East Keilor home in July 2005. Visits between the pair became more frequent and Mr Nesci showered Ms Knell with money and gifts. In June 2009, he took out a reverse mortgage of $110,000 on his home after daily requests for help from Ms Knell. In his case against her, he claimed the outstanding amount plus interest. The court heard the relationship between the pair broke down about a month after the money was transferred to Ms Knell's account. In evidence, Mr Nesci said that he told Ms Knell the money was a loan and that she had promised to repay the money when she succeeded in a legal case she had pending against a police officer. Ms Knell claimed in her defence that the money was a gift and that Mr Nesci had only gone to police claiming extortion after his daughter found out the family home had been mortgaged. In his judgement earlier this month, Judge Graham Anderson said he was not satisfied that Mr Nesci had produced enough evidence that he lent the money to Ms Knell in circumstances which required her to repay him. He ordered Mr Nesci to pay Ms Knell legal costs.
I have no sympathy for this old dude. Once you give a hooker the money, the money's gone. It's just the way it works. What he needed to do was keep her on the string by doling it out a little at a time. He could've had puntang right up until he took his last breath and maybe even after. Too bad, Mr. Nesci, you blew it while she blew it.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Bruins - Lightning Game 6 Tonight
As much as I'd like to see a Game 7 in Boston, it scares me. Let's hope the B's take care of business tonight in Tampa. It's time for a power play goal....
Female Umpire Accused Of Groping Girl, 14
PALM BEACH POST - A female softball umpire has been arrested on charges of having a sexual relationship with a 14-year-old girl, the Broward Sheriff's Office said Thursday. Brigid Lesovsky, 25, of Plantation, was an umpire for the Cooper City Optimist Club for more than a year, working on an as-needed basis, the Sheriff's Office said. On Thursday, authorities arrived at her girlfriend's Plantation home and took her into custody. Lesovsky was charged with three counts of lewd or lascivious molestation and one count of lewd or lascivious battery, jail records show. On Thursday, she remained at Broward's Main Jail, her bail set at $40,000. The teen plays softball, and Lesovsky met her through her umpire position, officials said. The relationship began as a friendship, but turned sexual about a month ago, when the girl said Lesovsky fondled her, officials said. Lesovsky's alleged acts came to light after the teen got in trouble in school, and a teacher notified her parents. When the teen's parents questioned her, she described the lewd acts, the Sheriff's Office said. The parents contacted authorities...
Is that really a chick who's 25? Looks more to me like a pimply-faced teenage boy. It even has sideburns! Maybe there's a case of mistaken identity here? Or maybe that's why she's attracted to little girls because she looks like a little boy. Yeesh, I have no idea, but it looks like this ump was more interested in being in the minors than the majors. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)
Actress/Model Estella Warren Booked For DUI, Rampage
Say it ain't so, Joe. No way. Someone must've roofied Estella. I just can't believe it. This is one of my all-time favorite hot chicks. Look at those lips! Look at those cans! Canadian swimming star as a youth, Victoria's Secret model as an adult. Dimepiece personified. I'm sending the bail money, honey. Daddy's comin'!!!
Julianne Hough In A Bikini Showing Off Her Amazing Ass!
Wow and wow. Just bustin' out one of the best backyards we've come across here at the Speakeasy in a l-o-o-o-n-g time. This is just about as close to perfection as you're gonna get. No dimples, no stretch marks, no pimples, just enough meat on the bone. Ass Hall Of Fame right here folks.
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