Ninja Dog Has Mad Skills

Think a cat would be able to figure this shit out?  No freakin' way.  Now I understand that the one thing cats do well is climb, but no pussy is gonna figure out how to use that post for leverage.  Not on your life.  Only dogs can be ninjas.

Drag Race - Dog Vs. Kid - Who Ya Got?

So earlier we had a dog rounding up chickens like a badass.  Now we have evidence that these creatures not only can get a job done but they're competitive as hell.  You thought Fido might lose this little challenge?  Not on your life.  Winner, winner, chicken dinner.  All day every day.

Little Boss Man Rounds Up The Chickens

Think a freakin' cat could do this?  Think again.  Just one more reason why dogs are the greatest animals on the planet.  Gettin' the job done whatever it takes.

It's Bunk's Birthday!

Just the GREATEST.  BIRTHDAY.  EVER!  No presents needed - just cue the balloons.  You got a dog, you got balloons, you got a friggin' party!  Bunk!

Dog Battles His Way Up The Stairs

One more reason dogs rule.  You think Lucy is bothered by that collar?  Not on your life.  She's goin' up those stairs and she's goin' with style.  Throw it in reverse and get the job done.  Does your average house cat figure this out?  No way, just walks away, happy to stay on the first floor until the thing is removed.  Rock on, Lucy....

Just Your Average, Every Day Video Of A Dog Driving A Car

One more reason why dogs rule.  You think a cat could do this?  No way.  Not enough brains and not enough interest in things like cars and hot rods.  Dogs like the stuff guys like.  Cats like to lie under the bed.  Pay attention!

They Grow Up So Fast

So does this mean Dunder dies in the next 45-second video? Say it ain't so!

One More Unbelivable Dog Story For Today - Navy SEAL Elite Dog Parachutes With Partner From 30,100 Feet Using Oxygen

DISCOVERY NEWS - Mike Forsythe and dog Cara are shown breaking the world record for highest man/dog parachute deployment at 30,100 feet. Cara is wearing a K9 Storm Vest. Both Forsythe and Cara utilized oxygen during the jump. Credit: Andy Anderson/K9 Storm

Balls the size of churchbells. And I'm talkin' about Cara. What can't these dogs do? I'm startin' to think it was an elite team of canines that took out Bin Laden. If there's a master race on earth, it's the puppies, dog dammit.

Dog Survives Fire For Six Hours By Submerging In Bathtub

Mia & Family

WYFF4.COM - A dog survived a raging house fire for six hours by hiding in a water-filled bathtub, according to firefighters. The house that burned was in the relatively new Beaumont subdivision off State Park Road near Mt. Creek Baptist Church. Piedmont Park Fire Capt. Duane Brock said the fire was extremely difficult to extinguish because of the size of the house and the intensity of the flames. Firefighters were able to rescue the dog, a 1-year-old Belgian Malinois named Mia, from the basement of the burning home, according to Brock. Mia's owner, Chris Brumby, was amazed at how the dog survived, but said he knew she was smart. "She acts like a human for most things," Brumby said. "And that kind of showed it. She knew where to go and hide." He said Mia was able to get to a bathtub on the lowest level of the house, where she waited as firefighters doused the home with water. As the water ran down into the basement, it filled the bathtub and soaked Mia, keeping her safe from flames, Brock said. Brumby said the dog has learned how to open doors throughout the house, and that she had to open four doors to get to the bathtub where she was found. He said when firefighters brought her out of the house, she was wet, dazed and covered in soot. "She literally had steam coming off of her," he said...

Well done, Mia. And by that I mean that you're so smart you were able to save yourself from being well done.  Opening 4 doors, finding the bathtub and surviving for 6 hours?  Unbelievable.  Smarter than most people I know.  Canine of the year candidate.  This is the kind of dog you want in your foxhole.  Bravo!

The Bruins Are The Dog, The Chick Is The Canadiens

Yup, we shat all over 'em!  Woo-hoo!

One More Reason Why Dogs Rule

It's a dog's world - we just live in it. You think there's any way a cat would do this? Not on your life. Man's best friend here not only knows how to amuse himself, but he knows he's amusing his owner, too. Just doesn't happen with any other animal on the planet. Fetch, boy!

Watch This Amazing Dog Earn Money For His Master

I'd like to see a cat do that. No freakin' way. Just further proof that dogs are the coolest animals on the planet. Now if I can only teach Nick, the Stump-Tailed Australian Cattle Dog to do the same thing I'll be able to retire from the Speakeasy.

Watch This Dog Riding A Bike Like It Ain't No Thang

And this, my friends, is why dogs rule. A cat would never do this. But ol' Fido here just hangs out on the back of the bike like he's any other commuter on the way to work. Not nervous, just chillin'. Total canine champion. Man's best friend indeed.

Police Arrest Naked Man “Growling Like A Dog”

SEATTLE - Seattle Police, in a release this morning, said they were called overnight to a report of a naked man “growling like a dog” on a Maple Leaf front porch. Officers contacted the naked man, who was clearly under the influence of narcotics. The man continued to scream that he was “the devil” and that “everyone was going to die.” Officers ordered the man to lie down, but he instead continued to scream and started punching windows, breaking them and cutting himself. At that point, officers were forced to use non-lethal force to control him. He was then handcuffed and Seattle Fire was able to treat the cuts to his hands. The 20-year-old suspect was taken to Harborview Medical Center for further treatment. The incident occurred about 10:50 p.m. on March 1 in the 2000 block of Northeast 105th Street.

I got some news for these cops - this guy is a dog. There are no drugs involved here.  I've watched every episode of HBO's "True Blood" so I think I'm what you call an expert in this area. You see, there are these creatures out there called shape-shifters. Sometimes they own a bar in Louisiana and they're named Sam. They can change into fucking animals! Really.  No shit! Then they can change back, but when they do they're naked. Most of 'em are pretty nice and are just tryin' to figure out how they got born that way. But trust me, this guy actually is a dog. (Not sure about the devil part, though.)

Mugshot Of The Year - Man Screws Dog

Sheriff: Coker Man Admits To Sexually Abusing Dog

TEXT - A Coker man charged with animal cruelty admitted that he sexually abused a dog, Sheriff Ted Sexton said today. Three witnesses told deputies that they saw Samuel Earl Sims, 56, abusing the mixed-breed dog at a home on Hillview Lane around midnight Sunday. “These witnesses happened to observe this by accident,” Sexton said. “They were shocked and appalled.” Deputies had the same reaction. They were working Monday to upgrade the misdemeanor animal cruelty charge to a felony. “We're aggressively trying to seek more serious charges,” Sexton said. There is not an anti-bestiality law in Alabama. Deputies were not sure Monday whether the 40-pound dog, named “Lady”, has an owner. “It seems that she's a neighborhood dog. If someone claims her, she will be returned to the owner,” he said. Otherwise, she may be available for adoption. Veterinarian Dr. Jimmy Canant examined the dog and found no serious injuries, Sexton said. He said that the dog has a good disposition and got along with other dogs at the vet's office. The sheriff did not provide further details about the situation. He said that Sims admitted his guilt. “Our defendant did give a statement admitting to the allegation that he had sexual intercourse with the dog,” he said. “This is the first time in my career that I have heard of anyone doing this.”

Okay, here goes:  Keep me the fuck out of Alabama. If they're screwing dogs down there it's time to secede from the union.  Just kick 'em out.  Next, how did three people happen to come upon this accidentally?  Was ol' Sammy outside on the front lawn? Disgusting. And by the way, it wasn't even his dog? Disgusting times like, nine.  Finally, no bestiality law in Alabama? Just haven't got around to that little piece of legislation yet, Bubbas?   Unbelievable.   Lock up the whole state (except of course those Alabamans that regularly read the Speakeasy - they're the exception not the norm).

Dog Interrupts Soccer Game

Just a guess, but I say that soccer ball is filled with high quality cocaine. The team's next game is probably in some new country and the best way to smuggle some of Pablo Escobar's nose candy would be inside a soccer ball on a charter flight. Genius, you crafty drug cartel leader. Pure genius.

Little Ballbuster

Yeah, kid, it's funny now, but when that hand gets bitten off and you're tryin' to scratch your ass with your hook you're gonna rue the day. Smarten up!

I Know PEOPLE Who Aren't This Smart

Bang. Pay Attention!

Just Monkeying Around