Hot Asian Stripper On The Pole

Just a little mid-morning entertainment for your viewing pleasure.  Strippers falling off poles is always high art. These things are right up there with skateboard faceplants and BMX crashes.  Seems like all stripper poles should be surrounded by 6 inches of padding....

Would You Murder Someone For $1000, A Car And A Date With A Stripper?

Richard Sybert

James Clements

Robert Sybert

Detective: $1,000, a car and a date with a stripper were promised in WR alleged murder for hire

MACON.COM - The accused shooter in an alleged murder-for-hire killing in Warner Robins told authorities he did it for a $1,000, a car and a date with a stripper, according to testimony from the lead detective in a court hearing Tuesday. Joni Clements, a clinical nurse for the 78th Medical Operations Squadron at Robins Air Force Base, was shot to death Feb. 8 in her 309 Westwood Drive home in Warner Robins. Her husband, James “Eddy” Clements, 55, a sheet metal mechanic for the 559th Aircraft Maintenance Squadron at Robins, is accused of hiring Richard Grant Sybert, 30, of Warner Robins, to kill his wife. Robert Sybert, 53, who cleaned the Clements’ pool, is accused of being his son’s getaway driver and providing the handgun used in the slaying. During a Magistrate Court hearing held at the Houston County jail, Warner Robins police Detective Mark Wright laid out the state’s case against the three men in the alleged conspiracy to murder Joni Clements. All three men are charged with felony murder and burglary. Clements and Robert Sybert are charged under the state’s party-to-a-crime statute. The hearing was for Clements to determine whether the state had sufficient evidence to prosecute the case in Superior Court. Judge Brenda Morton said from the bench that “based on the testimony given” during the hearing she was binding the case over to Superior Court. District Attorney George Hartwig told the judge he expects to present the case to a Houston County grand jury May 31, with additional charges expected, he said. Details of the alleged murder that came to light during the hearing included Eddy Clements allegedly giving Richard Sybert a key to the home; a record of cell phone calls between Robert Sybert and Eddy Clements the day of the murder and at the home one week before the killing; meetings among the three men before and after the slaying; Richard Sybert being seen running from near the home and jumping into a car owned by Robert Sybert; information from statements from both Syberts admitting their involvement in the slaying; and more.

First of all, what kind of car was it?  Because for me, it'd have to be like a Bentley or a Lamborghini or some shit.  Second of all, does the date with the stripper come with a happy ending.  Because for me it would have to.  Is the stripper hot or some aging booze-bag eking out the last days of her career?  Because for me she would have to be hot.

These are the kinds of details would have to be ironed out up front and put in writing.  I'm not saying I don't trust James Clements, it's just that the "i's" have to be dotted and the "t's" have to be crossed.  Otherwise there's gonna be a whole lotta arguing after the fact.  And that's the last thing you want to have happenin' while you're tryin' to plan a decent wake and burial.

She's A Stripper And A Crime Fighter

POLICE BLOTTER: Sammy's table dancer catches Freeport man with '$200 worth'

OKALOOSA ISLAND - An exotic dancer discovered a man was committing a crime during a table dance at Sammy’s. Freeport resident Jeffrey Lamar Morrison, 22, started emptying the contents of his pockets during the April 28 table dance, according to an arrest report from the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office. When he pulled out a red bag with a white powdery substance in it, the dancer asked him what it was. “$200 worth,” answered Morrison. After the dance, the dancer reported the drugs to the club manager. Morrison was leaving Sammy’s as the deputy arrived at around 11 p.m. Morrison “immediately and spontaneously” spoke to the deputy. “I had some stuff on me but I flushed it when I found out Sammy’s was drug-free,” Morrison said. The deputy asked Morrison if he could search him and Morrison gave the deputy his consent. The deputy found a red baggie containing three ounces of cocaine in Morrison’s front left shorts pocket. Morrison was charged with felony drug possession.

What's the deal? Strippers don't do cocaine anymore? What the fuck is this world coming to? Used to be you went into the Champagne Room, blew a couple of lines with the dancer and got yer rocks off. Where are ya supposed to go and do that now? Sheesh. Pretty soon they'll be outlawing hookers in Nevada.

Hosebag Danielle Staub From Real Housewives Of New Jersey Signs On As A Stripper For Scores In New York

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Did This Doctor Pull A Shotgun On A Stripper And Demand Sex?

Sheriff: Leesburg Man Pulls Shotgun on Stripper

VIRGINIA - A Leesburg, Va., man will be arraigned Monday after a bizarre weekend incident in which he allegedly pulled a shotgun on a stripper who refused his demands for sexual favors. Sheriff’s deputies responded to the 43700 block of Lees Mill Square in Leesburg at 12:40 a.m. Sunday after several people called 911 to report that a man with a shotgun had fired a shot at two people in his front yard. Upon arrival, deputies found the suspect, later identified as Dr. Mehul Jitendra Shah, of the Dulles Foot and Ankle Institute, being held at gunpoint by a neighbor. Shah was reported to be extremely intoxicated, and had become upset when a stripper he had hired refused his requests for sex, according to police. "You mix alcohol with your judgement, these sort of things tend to happen from time to time," Detective Vincent DiBenedetto told NBC Washington's Pat Collins. The stripper has been identified as a 29-year-old Fairfax woman, deputies said. Witnesses reported that Shah brandished the shotgun at the woman and her bodyguard and fired a shot in their direction but did not cause any injury. An armed neighbor confronted Shah and held him until deputies arrived, authorities said. Shah was taken into custody and charged with abduction by force, reckless handling of a firearm and brandishing a firearm. In addition, summonses were served for firing the weapon within a public right of way and within 100 yards of a building. He is being held without bond at the Loudoun Adult Detention Center and will be arraigned Monday. The victim sustained minor cuts and bruises from falling while trying to escape the residence, deputies said. She was transported to Inova Loudoun Hospital at Lansdowne, where she was treated and released.

Doctor my ass. The dude's probably a chiropractor or got some online Phd. from some scam internet college. These people kill me. They want ya to call 'em doctors just so they can sound all important and shit. "Doctor" Shah here probably has a diploma that's not worth the paper it was printed on. He just wanted to be able to tell the relatives back in the old country that he was a bigshot success in America. Well doc, I got news for ya - you're a big hit in the good ol' USA now! Congratulations!

Webcam Stripper Loses Her Window Shade

Let me get this straight. You can strip on the interwebberbloggernet, where chances are 96 billion people will have a chance to see ya in action, but you flip out when a couple of neighbors catch you? FRAUD! You're a total, absolute, no-doubt-about-it fraud. Matter of fact, how do you know those two dudes aren't some of the online beaters who are already payin' ya? That's right, ya don't. Totally unprofessional. As anyone in showbiz will tell ya, "The show must go on!" Now get back to work and finish what you started, sister. Pay attention!

Man Sues Strip Club: Dental Work Dinged by Stripper Shoes?

NationalLedger - A man has sued a strip club and wants his dental work paid for after he claims a stripper was performing on stage and during her routine, one of her stripper shoes flew of her foot, injuring him. The man claims the high heel shoe then flew through the air and slammed into his mouth and chipped his two front teeth, a United Press International report claims. The bar patron said he was 20 feet from the stage, but the heel caused damage to his dental work and he had to get caps on his teeth. He now claims that thanks to the high kicking stripper he will need "lifelong dental work." CBS News reveals Jake Quagliaroli claims in his lawsuit that he will suffer "lifelong dental injuries" after the erotic performance at PT's Showclub in Indianapolis, Indiana left him with the alleged injuries. His lawyer says he believes the club should pay. "The fact is that (Quagliaroli) walked into someplace and wasn't anticipating injury, and walked out of there with chipped teeth and potentially lifelong dental injuries," said Ali Saeed, his lawyer.

This is why we need to kill all the lawyers. Since when does a couple of chipped teeth result in lifelong dental work? C'mon Jake, let's get real. If you had any hand-eye coordination whatsoever you could've made the save. Now you're gonna admit to the whole world that you're a spaz just to win a few bucks? Grow a pair, Jake.  And kill the lawyers.

Stripper AND Mommy Of The Year?

Stripper Left Kids in Car to Hit the Pole

NBCMiami - A South Florida stripper displayed a disturbing amount of dedication to her job recently and has been arrested for leaving her kids in the car outside of a strip club so she could work. Corinthian Williams, 24, has been charged with four counts of child neglect for leaving the children - ages 1, 5, 6 and 9 - unattended in her car, the Sun-Sentinel reported. When police came to arrest Williams on Monday, she was holding her youngest daughter and reportedly told officers "take her. I don't wanna." Authorities believe the Riviera Beach woman made it a habit of leaving her children behind so she could shake her behind at area strip joints...

First of all, how could this chick possibly be making enough money stripping to support four kids? Unless she has the body of Brooklyn Decker (doubtful), there just ain't no way. Kids eat like motherfuckers. Their metabolism runs so high they eat more food than a bear gettin' ready to hibernate. I have a suggestion for our Mommy/Stripper of the year: Get a job at your local convenience store. I'm convinced you'll make more money, and if you play your cards right, you can swipe a few snacks from time to time and feed those hungry shorties like nobody's business. Bang. Pay the fuck attention!

The Most Talented Woman In America

Prostitute-Turned-Schoolteacher Quits: MyFoxNY.com

This chick is clearly a triple threat. Hooker, stripper, teacher. How many people can handle three professions and knock 'em all out of the park? Not many. She's like a master juggler in the Big Apple Circus. Nothing but pure talent here and now the New York DOE cuts her off at the pass. Shameful. What we're witnessing here is the stifling of an American original. Hey, tough economy, you gotta do what you gotta do. It's why countries like China and India and Brazil are startin' to catch up. MVP! MVP! MVP! Bang. Pay attention!

Here's How To Impress Your Lady On Valentine's Day

God Bless the 1980's!!!