Jail Break!

This is what happens when you take your eye off the prize, even for a second.  The two guards here just had that little momentary glitch and that's all it takes to lose a prisoner.  You forget for one second that a couple of inmates are outside the guard station and that you can't be openin' that door to the outside - fight or no fight.  Stay where you are, order the two dudes back to their cells and call for backup.  Decision-making.  It's what makes Brady a great quarterback.  It's what makes Tim Thomas a Vezina winner.  Eye of the tiger, people.  Never let up.  Never give in.  Lesson learned.  Pay attention!

Florida Inmate Caught With 30 Items in Anus

SARASOTA, Fla. - Inmates from time to time get caught using a natural body cavity to smuggle items into jail, but what happened recently is a new mark. As the Sarasota Herald Tribune reported, 33-year-old Neil Lansing was sentenced to jail on drug charges and was going through a routine strip search when jail officials noticed something sticking out of his rear end. Upon removing the condom, they discovered many more items: 17 blue pills, 1 cigarette, 6 matches, a flint, a syringe, lip balm, a CVS receipt and a coupon. Lansing now faces additional charges of drug possession and smuggling contraband into a jail.

Yup, it's Florida, Part 2,837,785. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Florida is the penis of America and a national castration needs to take place. Having said that, what's the deal here, Neil? Are you like Rubberman or something? That's an impressive inventory you were carrying in the ol' keester there, pal. Thirty items?  The prison screws must've needed a backhoe to excavate that thing.  By the way, I can understand everything except the lip balm, the receipt and the coupon. WTF? Well maybe the lip balm will come in handy when you're smooching your new roommate, but I'm still a little fuzzy on the paper products. So many questions, so little time....