Here's An Attempt At A Death-Defying Stunt Of Epic Proportions

I can see the difficulty in trying to pull off this amazing, fantastic, death-defying three foot jump from one dumpster to the other. The weather conditions need to be just right, the wind below 10mph, the sneakers with the perfect tread. So if all this preparation went into the stunt, why not make sure the landing area could support your fat ass? Details, my little daredevils, details!