So You Wanna Be A Meth Head?

Crystal, ice, meth - just say no kids.  Here's a little obvious Bahtendah Wisdom for ya - stick to booze and maybe a little chronic here and there and you won't end up like this freak.  What is that disgusting shit on her neck?  Maybe one of the grossest things I've ever seen.  And I mean ever.  I don't even know if it's possible to treat somethin' like that.  Made me throw up in my mouth.  Death by meth and it won't be pleasant.  Pay attention!

Playboy Playmate Suzanne Stokes Busted For Meth Possession

TMZ - Playboy Playmate Suzanne Stokes -- Miss February 2000 -- was tossed behind bars in L.A. this morning after cops say the actress was carrying meth in her car ... TMZ has learned. According to law enforcement sources -- cops initially stopped 31-year-old Stokes around 12:30 AM for blowing through a stop sign in Hollywood. But during the stop, cops learned there was an active warrant for Stokes' arrest stemming from a previous traffic violation. Cops then performed a search of Stokes' car and found methamphetamines. Stokes was arrested and taken to a nearby jail -- where she was booked on a felony drug possession charge...

This chick looks like she'd be an absolute tigress between the sheets. Can you imagine how abso-freakin-lutely wild she must be after a couple lines of crystal? You'd be lucky if she didn't rip your junk right off.  Burn baby burn.  Pass the tissues...

Father Of The Year Candidate Cooks Up Meth - Kids Are There To Watch And Learn

INTERLACHEN - An Interlachen man was arrested Monday on a charge of manufacturing methamphetamine, Putnam County deputies said. Deputies were called to 111 Jackson Terrace in Interlachen on a report of a suspicious man hiding in the back yard. Deputies said they met with a 27-year-old man who was found by the homeowner hiding in the bushes. The man told deputies he had been at 123 Jackson Terrace on Sunday night smoking methamphetamine, deputies said. He said a man named Danny and his brother, Adam, who both live at the home, were cooking methamphetamine, deputies said. The man also told deputies that two children were in the home while the drugs were being manufactured. Deputies went to 123 Jackson Terrace and met with the homeowner, Danny Grimm. They said Grimm had recently manufactured methamphetamine at the home, and while manufacturing the drugs, two children ages 8 and 13, were inside the home. Grimm, 36, was arrested and booked into the Putnam County Jail on charges of manufacture of methamphetamine, possession of listed chemicals, two counts of child abuse and possession of drug paraphernalia. His bail was set at $7,520. As a precaution, the children were taken to the Putnam Community Medical Center, deputies said. After being medically cleared, they were released into the custody of the Department of Children and Families, deputies said.

See, this is considered home schooling in Florida. You got a trade and you pass it on to the offspring. This way, you can enjoy a nice quiet retirement in your tailer, smoke crack and snort meth all day without having to worry about where the retirement income is comin' from. With a little hard work, planning and keepin' your nose to the grindstone, you too can secure your future and a better life for your kids. Now, there may be little detours like jail along the way, but that's the price of bein' a driven entrepreneur in the new economy. Small price to pay for insuring the future of generations to come. Capitalism, yes!

Dumb As A Bag Of Hammers

Quincy Herald-Whig
Woman wanted on federal drug charge falls through ceiling while trying to hide from police

A woman wanted on a federal drug charge tried to hide from police during a search of 1126 1/2 N. Sixth on Thursday, but she fell through the ceiling of an attic. Carlye R. Harrison, 19, was arrested on charges of possession of methamphetamine and unlawful production of methamphetamine/methamphetamine waste. She was lodged in the Adams County Jail. More arrests are pending. The U.S. Federal Fugitive Task Force and Adams County Sheriff's Department went to the address and were permitted inside. Deputies said a meth lab with finished product was found inside the residence, and numerous items used in meth manufacturing were found in trash bags inside the house. The Illinois State Police Methamphetamine Response Team was called to assist.

Can You Use A Goat To Get High?

MercuryNews.com

Three men arrested after a crying goat is found tied in car trunk

It started off as a traffic stop. And it ended with three men being booked on charges of being cruel to a thirsty, hogtied goat. Morgan Hill special operations Cmdr. Joe Sampson said the charges -- which also included driving under the influence and possession of methamphetamine -- stem from a Christmas Eve bust on Monterey Road near San Pedro Avenue. Sampson said officers on Friday spotted a car swerving, and pulled it over. They found that the driver didn't have a license, and they smelled alcohol inside the car, police said. Not only did the officer find three open beer cans, as well as plastic bags filled with what he suspected was crystal methamphetamine, but he also heard crying, or rather, bleating, coming from inside the car trunk. "Lo and behold, there's a goat tied up in there," Sampson said. "We think they were going to eat it." Police called animal control officers, who found the goat severely dehydrated. "They gave it some water and it drank a gallon," Sampson said. The driver, Ciro Paredes, 40, of Morgan Hill, was arrested on charges of not having a driver's license, DUI and animal cruelty. Passengers Julio Perez, 27, and Ricardo Melgar, 19, were also arrested for animal cruelty, and Perez was arrested for possession of a controlled substance. All three men were booked into Santa Clara County Jail.

Let me get this straight:

Drunk driving.  No license.  Booze in the car.  Bag of meth.  And the goat gets the headline?  Are you shittin' me?