Naked Man Asks "You Want A Piece Of This?"

TCPALM - A man accused of being naked in public and who is quoted as saying, "You want a piece of this," while pulling his crotch has been arrested, according to recently released records. Stephen David Delaplaine, 58, was arrested April 19 on two exposure of sexual organs warrants stemming from earlier alleged in-the-buff incidents. About 5:15 a.m. March 27, Port St. Lucie police went to Southeast Kestwick Court and Southeast Rivergreen Circle "in reference to a naked male standing on the corner," records show. A woman said she was delivering newspapers, and when she came to the corner, she saw a man in his birthday suit. She passed the man again after making a U-turn on the dead-end street. The nude dude was described as about 50 to 60 years old, wearing glasses and "slightly balding with a big belly just standing there." She said she saw the same man au naturel two to three weeks earlier. The next morning the accused naked man pulled on his penis and said, "You want a piece of this." Police spied Delaplaine -- sporting a Hawaiian shirt and tan shorts -- in his living room nearby. He matched the woman's description but denied being the naked man. He said he was reading and has depression and insomnia. The woman identified Delaplaine, of the 1600 block of Southeast Kestwick Court in Port St. Lucie, as the naked man. Delaplaine ultimately declined to take a lie detector test, saying his "depression and mental illness would not show a fair result."

Aw c'mon. How is Stevie here not gettin' laid left and right? I'm mean he's obviously got the dashing good looks, he lets ya see the merchandise before ya buy and he's got the greatest pick-up line of all time. Dude's a playa. He's a pro in a world of rank amateurs. Must be like Carl Crawford. He's got all the skills and talent, just slumpin' big time right now. Things will turn around Steve-o. Just keep your head in the game.