Monday, January 31, 2011

They'll Be Selling This Stuff On The Streets Of P-Town And San Francisco



FoxNews
Suit: Man Claims Glaxo Drug Made Him a 'Gay Sex Addict'
A 51-year-old married father of two is suing GlaxoSmithKline, saying the pharmaceutical company’s drug he took for Parkinson's disease has turned him into a gambling and gay sex addict, Agence France-Presse reported. Didier Jambart, of Nantes, France, began taking Requip (ropinirole) in 2003, which is used to treat Parkinson’s disease -- a disorder of the nervous system that affects movement, muscle control and balance. Jambart’s attorney said his client attempted suicide three times after he lost his family’s savings to Internet gambling and stole money for his habit. Jambart alleges he also became a “compulsive gay sex addict and began exposing himself on the Internet and cross-dressing.” Jambart’s attorney said these antics led his client to be raped. Jambart stopped taking the drug in 2005, but by that time he had already been demoted from his job and was suffering psychological trauma. He is seeking $610,000 in damages from Glaxo, and his neurologist, whom he says did not accurately warn him about the drug’s potential side effects.

Is it time to kill all the lawyers yet? Methinks yes.

They're Drinking Stoli All Day Every Day In Russia

Just Monkeying Around

Daily Dime #2

Seren Gibson

Afternoon Refreshment

First, we have to open it....



....Now, we can enjoy it!

Mother Of The Year?

CBSNews
Georgia Mom Checked Son, Friends Out of School to Rob Bank, Say Police
(CBS/WGCL) Three Georgia teenagers are facing armed robbery charges after the mother of one of the boys reportedly checked them out of school, allegedly so they could help her rob a bank. CBS affiliate WGCL reports that 35-year-old Tawander Simmons of Stone Mountain checked her son, 17-year-old Benny Brice and two other boys out of Stephenson High School on Friday morning. Police say the four then robbed a Wells Fargo in Lilburn, Ga., about 20 miles outside Atlanta. Simmons' neighbors were shocked when they learned that the bank robber they saw on the news was their neighbor. "I can't believe[it], wait until I tell [my wife] the neighbor robbed the bank. She don't know it's the neighbor either. When I saw it on the news I said, 'Why would she get her kid in trouble'," Leroy Anderson told the station. According to investigators, Simmons was armed with a gun when she approached a teller and demanded money. The bank's surveillance cameras snapped pictures of her, WGCL reported. Another picture shows two of the teens entering the bank. One had his hands in his pants as if he had a weapon. Police said the second teenager did have a gun. The trio then ran outside to an awaiting car and the remaining suspect, and were soon chased by Lilburn police. The alleged getaway vehicle crashed into a railroad track and police arrested Simmons, her son and 18-year-old Glenn Broom and 17-year-old David Rollins. All are charged with armed robbery.


Some kids will do anything to skip a test....

Beaver Is A Funny Word

Beaver County Times
Man accused of trying to convince woman to be prostitute
BEAVER FALLS — A Beaver Falls man was arrested for promoting prostitution and other charges after police said he followed a woman and tried to talk her into becoming a prostitute for him. Around 7:30 p.m. Jan. 12 Beaver Falls police went to the 1000 block of Sixth Avenue after they received a call from Chelsea Hogue, no age or address given, who said a man was following her and trying to sell her drugs...

Yup, the only reason I'm posting this is because it has "Beaver Falls" and "prostitute" in the same story. Totally juvenile on my part - guilty. But in a sense, isn't every instance of prostitution an instance of "Beaver Falls?" Pure comedy. Irony. Word play. Reality. Bang. Pay attention!

We Will Not Sell This Swill Here At The Speakeasy. Outrage!

Okay, so Walgreen's has started selling beer for 50 cents a can.  However, reports I've read are saying that it smells like skunk piss and gives people a headache.  Kind of reminds me of Haffenreffer, or the "Green Death" back in the day.  If all you want is a cheap buzz, knock yourself out.  But for my money, spend a couple bucks more and enjoy the journey.  Just one man's opinion.  Pay attention!


While we're on the subject, anyone remember this Beauty?


Doesn't even look good in the picture, does it?  Honest admission, though - got me through more than a few college frat parties. Allright, as long as we're having a truth-fest, here are a couple of other beverages that made exam week tolerable:




So yes, the Bahtendah used to have a degenerate side.  But hey, it wasn't a matter of choice, it was a matter of the economic situation.  When all ya got is 15 bucks for gas, food and booze, you do what you gotta do.  Still, no rot-gut here at the Speakeasy.  I've learned my lesson.  Bang.  Pay attention!

The Smell Test



Wrong. Just plain wrong...

10,000 Strippers In Dallas? Wonder Where Tiger Woods & Charlie Sheen Will Be Next Weekend....

Flier advertising stripper positions_20110127153102_JPG

'Dallas-Fort Worth Needs 10,000 More Strippers for Super Bowl'
DALLAS - A North Texas strip joint manager is looking to hire at least 100 more strippers to fill what he calls an exotic dancer shortage plaguing Dallas-Fort Worth because of the upcoming Super Bowl XLV . John Walsh, who manages Showtime Cabaret in Kennedale, said he currently employs 50 dancers but needs as many as 70 more, according to TMZ. To make the mark, Walsh made up fliers promising new dancers big money in a clean club near big Super Bowl events. Walsh told TMZ he is not the only understaffed exotic club in the area. In fact, Walsh said, DFW's 60 or so adult establishments are short a total of 10,000 exotic dancers. Arlington city officials said they expect to host 300,000 visitors during Super Bowl weekend, which puts the tourist-to-stripper ratio at about a hearty 30:1.




Human Shark Crushes The Competition



Change the rules! I guess this dude got DQ'd for swimming the whole race underwater, but for my money he's the winner. This cat's a friggin' amphibian. C'mon, he swam the length of the pool underwater, UPSIDE DOWN! Game over, give him the trophy. Winner, winner, chicken dinner! Bang. Pay attention!

Yup, It's Florida

Brandy Lee Segroves


News-Press
Bonita Springs woman arrested after cocaine falls out of her bra
A Subway employee in Bonita Springs was charged with cocaine possession following her shift Thursday night. Brandy Lee Segroves, 26, of 12122 Sunset Strip, was seen by a deputy in an unmarked car exit the rear of the 10347 Bonita Beach Road restaurant and approach red four-door Nissan.The deputy then watched Segroves hand over cash to the driver of the car in exchange for an unknown item that she then tucked into her bra. “It is my experience that females possession drugs sometimes hide those drugs in their bra to prevent male law enforcement officers from finding them,” the deputy said in the arrest report. As Segroves was leaving for the night, the deputy approached her and asked her what she purchased. Segroves said she didn’t buy anything and was “just adjusting her bra.” The deputy then asked her to shake out her bra. She complied and five small pieces of crack cocaine weighing approximately one gram hit the floor. She was then arrested and taken to jail.


She had rocks in her over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.  Sorry, couldn't resist.  And by the way, this completely explains why Subway sandwiches always suck.  Smoke some crack, make some tuna fish, smoke some crack, make the meatballs, smoke some crack, grill a steak and cheese, smoke some crack, punch out and go home.  Rinse.  Repeat.  Bang.  Pay attention!

Be Happy You Didn't Have To Drive To Work In Bangalore This Morning

Nice January Re-Cap



Some you've seen here at the Speakeasy before, some not. But if January is any indication, 2011 is gonna be a great year for fails. Rock on, you morons!

From Warden To Prisoner

Joao Batista Groppo

BBC
Brazil man 'locked wife in cellar for eight years'
A Brazilian man has been arrested on suspicion of keeping his wife locked in a cellar for at least eight years while he lived upstairs with another woman. Acting on a tip, police found 64-year-old Sebastiana Aparecida Groppo lying naked in a filthy basement in the city of Sorocaba in Sao Paulo state. Her husband Joao Batista Groppo told officers he had locked her up because she was mentally ill and aggressive. Police said Mrs Groppo appeared to be in good physical health. But they said she showed signs of mental problems that could have been caused by her confinement.
'Unfit for animals'
Police inspector Jaqueline Barcelos Coutinho told the Associated Press news agency she was shocked when she arrived at Mr Groppo's house and found Mrs Groppo behind a padlocked iron gate in the cellar. "She was lying nude on a concrete bed inside a foul-smelling, humid cubicle with no electricity or ventilation," Ms Coutinho said. "She was in a degrading situation unfit for animals". Mr Groppo, 64, initially said he had kept his wife confined for 16 years but then revised the time to eight, Ms Coutinho said. "He told us that locking her up was the only way he could think of to prevent her from wandering off and getting lost," she added. The couple have been married for more than 40 years. Mrs Groppo was treated in hospital and then taken to the house of her son in a nearby city. Mr Groppo and the other woman he lives with are facing charges of false imprisonment.

I got one word for you, Joao - DIVORCE. Ever hear of it? Probably should have thought of it about, oh, EIGHT YEARS AGO! Too bad, now it's your turn to be locked up for a little stretch. Greybar Hotel here we come!

Morning Quickie

Daily Dime

Lucy Pinder

No Joints In The Joint


WLKY
Man Checks Into Jail With Joints Sewn In Underwear, Police Say
JEFFERSONVILLE, Ind. -- Police said a man checking into jail had 15 marijuana cigarettes sewn into his boxers. According to WLKY's news partner the News and Tribune, Dontas Marshall, 41, was sentenced Jan. 5 to 15 years in prison for possession of cocaine. Marshall, who was out of jail on bond, turned himself in to authorities at his sentencing hearing and was booked in to the Clark County Jail. According to police reports, a corrections officer noticed Marshall smelled of marijuana. Jail personnel found nothing in a pat-down search but said that Marshall was clenching his buttocks. Officers then prepared to strip-search Marshall, who then admitted he had a joint in his boxers, police said. Officers cut open the boxers and found 15 joints, according to police reports. Police said, because of the amount, Marshall will face criminal charges.


Nice try, Sparky.  You probably would've been a rich man inside the Big House if you were able to pull it off.  But alas, now it looks like you'll have something else in you underwear....

Friday, January 28, 2011

In Case You Missed It, Kevin Garnett Totally Punched Channing Frye In The Balls As He Was Taking A shot Friday Night



I freakin' love it! Except for the part where KG got kicked out of the game. I used to think Manny Pacquiao was the most accurate puncher I've ever seen, but now I'm thinkin' KG has the hand speed and the accuracy to fight on "Boxing After Dark." By the way, the Celts were getting their asses kicked at the time, so Garnett figured he'd introduce a little wake-up call. Sadly, it didn't work. Never mind, I fuckin' love the attitude! Bang. Pay attention!

Dumb As A Bag Of Hammers

Levan Page
Levan Page
Croydon Guardian
Robber jailed after falling asleep with Purley victim's wallet
A robber was jailed after being caught slumped in a restaurant with his victims wallet still in his pocket. Levan Page, 22 and Ian Sullivan, 20, were both convicted of robbery at Croydon Crown Court in November. The pair attacked two men at a bus stop in Purley and then went on to a restaurant and got so drunk Sullivan fell asleep while his friends ran out on the bill. The owners called the police and when they arrived they searched Sullivan and found a wallet belonging to one of the men who had been robbed...Page and Sullivan both pleaded guilty to robbery and were jailed for a total of five years...

Best Halftime Dunk



Yeah, I know it's fake, but it's still pretty cool....

Not A Very Tender Bird

Yup, It's Florida


nwfdailynews
Boy brings cocaine to school "to help grandmother"
FORT WALTON BEACH -- A 14-year-old Mary Esther boy told authorities he brought cocaine to school so he could sell it and help his grandmother financially. The boy dropped the bag of cocaine to the floor during a routine search. The teacher recovered it and handed it to an Okaloosa County Sheriff's Deputy, according to the boy's arrest report. He was charged with cocaine possession with intent to sell within 1000 feet of a school.


Granny needs some more bling - hit the streets, kiddo.  Yup, Florida.  The penis of America.  Pay attention!

Daily Dime #2

Afternoon Refreshment

First, we have to open it....



....Now, we can enjoy it!

Yup, It's Florida

Gwendolyn Kathleen Hanisch

ABC-7
Drugs found in Port Charlotte woman's vagina
ENGLEWOOD: A routine traffic stop led to the arrest of two people and an unusual discovery Wednesday. Deputies pulled over Michael Paul Williamson, 26, and his passenger, Gwendolyn Kathleen Hanisch, 21, both of 3381 Edgehill Terrace in Port Charlotte, for speeding in Englewood Wednesday evening. During the traffic stop, deputies found three cookie tins containing marijuana brownies and two marijuana pipes inside the car, according to the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office. Williamson and Hanisch were arrested and taken to the Charlotte County Jail. At the jail, after Hanisch consented to a strip search, corrections officers discovered a crumpled piece of aluminum foil containing what was believed to be LSD and two baggies of pot inside her vagina. "She produced two sandwich bags of marijuana out of her vagina," explained Bob Carpenter, with the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office. "The third item, which sounds awful, is crumbled up aluminum foil with LSD inside of it." The duo was charged with Possession of Marijuana and Possession of Drug Paraphernalia. An additional charge on Hanisch for Possession of LSD is pending the outcome of a lab test.

Who knew? Marijuana - the new dildo!  And by the way, Gwendolyn, TWO baggies of weed plus the LSD?  Seems a little roomy in there.  How 'bout you work on those Kegel excercises while you're in the pokey?  Bang.  Pay attention!

Vampires In Boulder!

Stephen Edward Siebold

Fox31
Man accused of biting girlfriend who refused to buy him beer
BOULDER -- A 19-year-old man accused of biting his girlfriend's hand because she wouldn't buy him a beer is in big trouble because of the incident. Stephen Siebold is also accused of hitting the woman over the head with a skateboard and trying to strangle her according to a report in the Boulder Daily Camera. Boulder police Sgt. Kristi Peterson says this happened at about 7 p.m. Wednesday in the 1200 block of Elder Ave. A police report says the man was at home with his 21-year-old girlfriend when he's accused of attacking her because she wouldn't buy him beer. Investigators believe he may have been under the influence of narcotics.

Hey, dude, I understand the need for an ice cold brewski. I'm having one myself right now.  Mmm, beer.  But biting? Boppin' her in the cabeza with a skateboard? Strangling? Weak. NO BEER for you! Pay attention!

Forget The 'Bloke", I'll Take The Bird



Funny little "futbol" interview. This is the kind of shit Cedric Maxwell got killed for, but I think it's hilarious. By the way, no matter what you think, tough to take your eyes of the reporter, huh? Okay, I'm a total chauvinist. Guilty. Pay attention!

Chutes But No Ladders

Image: Police lead suspect away
MSNBC
Ah, shoot! Man ends up naked, stuck in trash chute escape
HONOLULU — Honolulu emergency crews rescued a naked man from a trash chute of a Waikiki apartment building early Thursday morning. The call to 911 was made just before 4 a.m. A man living on the seventh floor of 1717 Ala Wai Blvd. called police to report that his roommate, who he said had been drinking heavily, physically assaulted him and threatened him with a knife. When officers arrived, the suspect ran and jumped into the trash chute. He lost his shorts on the way down and was stopped by the trash that had piled up to the third floor, police said. That is where firefighters managed to pull him out. When asked how he ended up in the trash chute, the man said, "I went for one dive." The man refused medical treatment. Police arrested him...

How can you possibly say this man was naked? He had handcuffs! And oh, by the way, brah, most trash chutes lead to bad palces - like the trash!  Pay attention!

Kendra Wilkinson - The Biggest Ho In America?


NZHerald
Former Playmate's lesbian sex scandal
A lesbian sex tape allegedly featuring Kendra Wilkinson is set to be made public. The raunchy homemade video apparently features the ex-Playboy model and her friend Taryn Ryan engaged in a variety of erotic acts. It is said to have been shot shortly after her first amateur porn film which features her when she was 18 making love to her ex-boyfriend Justin Frye. That footage was leaked last year and was eventually released as a DVD entitled Kendra Exposed. A source told RadarOnline.com: "They were friends and were hanging out together, with their boyfriends. It's a long tape, about 45 minutes. And there is nothing left to the imagination. "Kendra and Taryn started fooling around and then Kendra wanted the light turned off. "But the camera that was recording them had night vision, so it looks like the Paris Hilton porn tape. Everything is completely clear. "The girls are laughing at first, and the guys are encouraging them to kiss each other. They started kissing while giggling and then things got hotter." Girls Next Door reality TV star Kendra left the Playboy mansion in 2008 and married NFL player Hank Baskett - with whom she has a son, Hank Baskett IV, with. When the first X-rated footage of Kendra appeared she tried to stop it from being released but eventually allowed it to be distributed for an up-front fee, rumoured to have been $680,000, and a 50 per cent share of all sales.

Take this journey with me and decide for yourself if Hank Baskett, NFL tight end, actually has even one ball in his sack. Kendra Wilkinson is a Playboy Playmate who supposedly slept with the decrepit Hugh Hefner (along with 2 other 'girlfriends') for a couple of years. I mean, the dude's like 150 years old. She meets Hank, and they get married. Hank played for the Indianapolis Colts last year and you might remember him as the guy who absolutely botched the Saints' on-side kick in the Super Bowl to help Indy lose the game. Major, major shame. This year, a graphic sextape of Kendra comes out with her bangin' the shit out of some dude when she was eighteen years old. Now comes part two, with her going lesbo with some other chick named Taryn Ryan. So we got Kendara in Playboy photo shoots, two sextapes and bangin' Old Man Time. Hey Hank, do you just crave humiliation or does it turn you on to see wifey bangin' anyone who can fog a mirror for the entire world to see? It says here, you suck at football and she's a money-grabbing ho. Marriage made in heaven. Do me a favor, restore my faith in humanity and kick this chick to the curb like a 30-yard field goal. Pay attention!

Soccer Dude Has The Gay For Sugar Daddy Reporter (Or Maybe It's Just The Old Ben Gay In The Jockstrap Trick)



This is a little old but somehow I missed it. Thanks to Mark204 for the submission.

Magazines Are Dying (And So Is This Dude)

Tracy Morgan Wants To Find Sarah Palin's Slippers Beneath His Bed



And you thought Charles Barkley was outrageous?  Bang.  Pay attention!

Daily Dime

Ballin'

Stuff That Box, Baby!



I know sex sells, but it's pretty rare to see it used politically or in a PSA.  Right on you Spanish-speaking marketers!  Give us more!  I want to see hot chicks warning us about global warming, over-exposure to the sun and the benefits of energy conservation.  Now I need to roll over and nod off for a bit....

Like A Doc Rivers Inbounds Play After A Timeout

Thursday, January 27, 2011

My New Home


Enough!  Hey, I'm a New Englander so I can handle snow just as much as the next guy.  But this is gettin' a little ridonkulous.  Like I'm pretty sick of losing power every time there's snow on a tree limb within ten miles of my house.  I've burned more wood than Charlie Sheen this winter.  I'm just gonna give in and start livin' like an Inuit.  Polar bears and whale blubber for dinner every night, race around on my sled with the Huskies all day, come home to the igloo and bang the shit outta my hot little Eskimo wife every night.  Rinse.  Repeat.  Embrace the snow.  Bang.  Pay attention.

Daily Dime #2

Helena Christensen

Afternoon Refreshment

First, we have to open it...



...Now, we can enjoy it!

Guess Who'll Be Going Home Alone Tonight



And there you have it - Part One of the instructional video "How To Act Like A Douche In Public" series.

And now, Part Two:





Bang. Pay attention!

They're Drinking Stoli All Day Every Day In Russia

I'm Getting Tired Of All This Snow

Jay Cutler After The Bears' Loss



Just kiddin' - Cutler's not as tough as this kid....

Chick Has Skills


Model With Impressive Soccer Skills - Watch more Funny Videos

Daily Dime

Hot For Teacher

courtney bowles mug shot.jpgcourtney bowles portrait.JPG
Denver Post
Teacher and student were found naked in car with booze, police report says
When a patrol officer found a high school teacher in a parked car with a 16-year-old student, both were naked and there were bottles of Sprite and vodka in the vehicle, according to the arrest affidavit. Mountain View High School instructor Courtney Bowles, 31, bought the booze, picked up the unnamed boy and parked her blue Subaru in North Lake Park about 10:40 p.m. Friday, the report says. The alleged victim first said he had no identification with him and gave Loveland police Officer Sharon Hopkins a false birth date. When she questioned him again, he handed over his Mountain View school ID, showing he was a 10th-grader. He then acknowledged he was 16. Bowles, who is married with two children and is an instructional coach for teachers at the school, told the officer that she offered the boy alcohol, but he had only one sip. Bowles, arrested on counts of sexual assault by a person in a position of trust and contributing to the delinquency of a minor, was released on a personal-recognizance bond Monday. The 8th Judicial District attorney's office is expected to file charges by Thursday. Though Bowles is out of custody, a judge has ordered her to stay away from anyone younger than 18, to remain 100 feet from the high school, and to refrain from contacting the boy or his family...Bowles' work at Mountain View included instructing teachers on how best to interact with students, though she also tutored kids struggling in their studies...


Sprite and vodka?  C'mon Courtney, is that the best you could do?  And by the way, no candles, no picnic basket, NO CONDOMS???

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Be Careful What You Ask For



And please remember to put out that cigarette. Pay attention!

No Time For Dinner? Drink Some Beef Stroganof!



This shit is for real, Speakeasies. They have flavors like Cheese Burger, Chicken Teriyaki, Dirty Hot Dog and Italian Sausage. Get your meat on! Bang. Pay attention!

Check it out here: MeatWater

Dropping Like Rain



This kid's about 5'4" but he can huck 'em up there!

Daily Dime #2

Afternoon Refreshment

First, we have to open it...



...Then, we can enjoy it!

Dumb As A Bag Of Hammers

Andreas Muller had 'mini' tattooed on to his penis to win a Mini Cooper (Pic: CEN)

Metro
Man has ‘mini’ tattooed on penis to win car
The crazy German decided to have the rather painful tattoo after a radio station ran a competition to win a £20,000 Mini Cooper. The brief: whoever pulled the craziest stunt to get the car would win. Unsurprisingly, Muller’s offer to have the car manufacturer’s name branded on to his penis topped the list of crazy suggestions. Muller claims the pain was worth it, saying: ‘Once I’m sitting in the car, it won’t matter anymore. Then the pain will be gone and it’ll be alright.’ It has not been reported whether or not Mr Muller has a girlfriend.

Any other word, man. Any other word! Pay Attention!

Gangsta?

Yup, It's Florida

Fla. Man Claims "Rough Sex" Killed Girlfriend

CBSNews
Fla. Man Claims "Rough Sex" Killed Girlfriend, Say Police
FORT LAUDERDALE (CBS/WFOR) Investigators in Florida say a man kept his girlfriend's body in his bed for two days while he tried to figure out how to dispose of it and later told police she had died during a night of rough sex, according to a report. Doris Lopez's body was found inside a car parked at a Delray Beach parking lot on October 26th. Three months after that discovery, police arrested 40-year-old David Muringer and have charged him with manslaughter in her death. According to CBS affiliate WFOR, Muringer allegedly told authorities he had been casually dating 48-year-old Lopez, who lived in West Palm Beach. He told investigators he choked Lopez during sex, but said her death was accidental. He said she lost consciousness once before and she had awakened moments later. However, on the night she died, he got angry when she lost consciousness and reportedly threw her off the bed, according to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel. Police say he left the apartment and when he returned he found her lying on the floor dead. According to a police report, Muringer waited two days before allegedly stuffing her body in a plastic bag then pushing it into a barrel. "He told us he sealed the barrel with duct tape, rolled the barrel out of his apartment and placed the barrel into the back seat of the victim's car," Delray Beach police Detective Jason Jabcuga wrote in the arrest report. WFOR reports that Muringer became a suspect in the case after a cell phone receipt was found in the car with his name on it. On top of manslaughter, Muringer has also been charged with unlawful disposal of human remains. He is being held without bond.

Just A Little Nonsense To Warm Things Up

Got Milk?


Helsinki Times
Finnish nipple-sucking doctor gets the sack
A doctor who sucked a young woman patient's nipple during a breast examination has been sacked, commercial broadcaster Channel Four Finland (Nelonen) reported Monday. Earlier this month the Supreme Court fined the man 4,800 euros. A district court had dismissed malpractice and sexual abuse charges, with the Rovaniemi appeals court upholding the lower court's ruling last year.


Supposedly the doctor's defense was that he was using some old mid-wives diagnostic test.  Nice try, doc.  Breaking news bulletin - you're not a mid-wife!  Bang.  Pay attention!

Balls The Size Of Churchbells

Chase It With A Four Loko?

cannacola

Time
Bud in a Bottle: New Marijuana Soda to Launch in Feb.
How about a refreshing Canna Cola? A company based in Soquel, Calif., has created a new line of soda pot — or, marijuana soda — that it plans to launch in Colorado in February. Canna Cola isn't the first marijuana soda on the market, but its designer Clay Butler, who said he has never used marijuana or smoked a cigarette but is a "firm believer that adults have an inalienable right to think, eat, smoke, drink, ingest, decorate, dress any way they choose," told the Santa Cruz Sentinel that his beverage collection will be distinguished by marketing. "You look at all the marijuana products out there, and they are so mom-and-pop, hippie-dippy and rinky-dink," he said...According to the Sentinel, Butler's soda pot line will include the "flagship cola drink Canna Cola, the Dr Pepper–like Doc Weed, the lemon-lime Sour Diesel, the grape-flavored Grape Ape and the orange-flavored Orange Kush." The labels promise "12 mind blowing ounces," and each bottle will retail for roughly $10 to $15. Containing 35 to 65 milligrams of THC (tetrahydrocannabinol), the main psychoactive ingredient in cannabis, Canna Cola is substantially less potent than many of the other drinks currently on the market, the Sentinel reports...

Irish Tribute

Roofie

Think Quick

Daily Dime

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

PSA From The Speakeasy

Makes You Wonder Where The School Is

Human Windshield Wiper



Hey, if ya gotta get somewhere, ya gotta get somewhere. You stand still in Mexico and one of those drug cartel dudes will probably gun you down just 'cuz you're standing still!

Hey Dude, Where's The Rest Of Your Snowmobile?



This thing is either lazy or cheap. Pick one - skis or snowmobile. Bang. Pay attention!

What Would Chuck Say?



Fight + Lunch = Flunch



By the way, since when do IHOP's have security guards?

Daily Dime #2

Dorito's New Super Bowl Add Has The Gay



It's also a blatant rip-off of this Swedish commercial. Is Ron Borges now working for Dorito's?

Afternoon Refreshment

First, we have to open it....



....Now, we can enjoy it!

Gotta Love The Effort

Going Green In The Red Zone

About the Mooncup
Mooncup
The Mooncup is a reusable menstrual cup, around two inches long and made from soft medical grade silicone. It is worn internally a lot lower than a tampon but, while tampons and pads absorb menstrual fluid, the Mooncup collects it. This means it doesn’t cause dryness or irritation, and also that it collects far more (three times as much as a ‘super-absorbent’ tampon’!). Because the Mooncup is reusable, you only need one so it saves you money and helps the environment, too.


The Mooncup is designed to be folded and inserted into the vagina, then removed, rinsed and reinserted up to every 8 hours. A light seal is formed with your vaginal walls, allowing menstrual fluid to pass into the Mooncup without leakage or odour. This seal is released for removal, allowing you to empty the contents, rinse or wipe and reinsert. Comfortable, convenient and safe: the Mooncup can be used overnight and when travelling, swimming or exercising.


Plus, it makes a great gift!

Dumb As A Bag Of Hammers

Give Her 4 For This One

They're Killin' Cutler In Chicago

Careful Driving Out There Today


...And then there's this:

Carlton Boogies Down

Sore Losers

Story Image

Chicago Sun-Times
Packer backer fired for wearing Green Bay tie
With Chicago reeling from Sunday’s painful playoff loss, Monday morning probably wasn’t the best time for car salesman John Stone to share his love for the Green Bay Packers with co-workers and customers. But Stone, 34, proudly showed up for work at Webb Chevrolet in south suburban Oak Lawn wearing his green-and-yellow Packers necktie anyway. Now he’s former car salesman John Stone. The morning after the Chicago Bears’ hated rivals beat them at Soldier Field to advance to the Super Bowl, Webb’s general manager Jerry Roberts says he fired Stone for refusing to remove the Packers-branded tie. The facts aren’t in dispute, only the appropriateness of the novelty neckwear. “He said, ‘You have two options,’ ” a furious Stone said later Monday. “Remove the tie, or you’re fired.” “When I didn’t, he said, ‘You can leave, you’re fired.’ Does that sound fair to you?”...


...Although it would appear that the dealership's GM has more balls than Jay Cutler.

Tough Morning Commute

Breakfast Of Champions

Mug With Cookie Mouth

Daily Dime

Monday, January 24, 2011

Evening Entertainment

Chillax, Brah!



Hey Rashard, couldn't you at least wait 'till you got to the shower?

How Jets Fans Feel Today

Hey Mark - Pick Me A Winner!

Florida, Part 2 - High Stakes Pong

pnj
Beer pong argument led to Cantonment shooting
A Pensacola man is suspected in a shooting that happened Sunday in Cantonment. Zachary Wilson, 21, of the 800 block of North 48th Avenue is accused of shooting Brian Keith Cantwell, 20, of Cantonment in the face during an argument, the Escambia County Sheriff’s Office said. Cantwell was taken to West Florida Hospital to be treated for his injury. His injury is not believed to be life-threatening. The shooting happened about 12:30 a.m. Sunday at a home in the 1300 block of Tate Road. "They were at a house party betting on a game of beer pong when the argument broke out," Sheriff’s Office spokesman Deputy Chris Welborn said. Deputies were unable to locate Wilson after the shooting. The Sheriff’s Office has applied for an arrest warrant charging Wilson with aggravated battery.

Queens In Queens (New York)



I guess this is all that's left when your pro sports franchises all suck....

Daily Dime #2

Afternoon Refreshment

First, we have to open it....



....Now, we can enjoy it!

Imagine What They Could Do To A Human...

Yup, It's Florida

WIOD
Man Comes Home To Naked Robber Asleep On Couch
Suspect told cops he needs to "quit drinking"
NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla. (970 WFLA) - A man from Hudson was arrested after deputies found him naked and asleep on a couch in a home he had just broken into. Justin Barker burglarized two different houses in Pasco County Wednesday night, according to reports. While inside the first home on Hendrix street in New Port Richey, deputies say Barker trashed the residence and broke appliances. He got inside after smashing a glass door. Deputies believe Barker may have cut himself on the glass. He took off his clothes inside and then left the house. Witnesses identified him running naked down the street. Deputies say the 20-year-old then entered another house on Blayton Street in Holiday. While inside, they say, he broke a lamp, then fell asleep on the victim's couch. The victim came home and found Barker still asleep. Barker didn't wake up until deputies had him in handcuffs. The suspect was treated for cuts on his forearm and then taken to jail.

Hey Tiger, Try This!

Slippery When Wet

Does This Mean She Drops Pillows In The Toilet?

Daily Dime

Just Remember To Wipe It Off Afterward



Dude has game!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

They're All Drinking Stoli In Russia

The Agony Of Da Feet



Best moment of the day - by far!

Titletown Vs. The Steel City



Well, there's your Super Bowl - Packers vs. Steelers.  The early lines from Vegas have the Packers favored by 2 to 2.5 points and the over/under has been set at 45.  I'll wait a little bit to see how the line moves, but I already like the over on this one.  Domed or warm-weather stadium and a couple of QB's who could light things up given 2 weeks to prepare.

On another note, so long Sexy Rexy - at least we don't have to spend any more time listening to your insufferable bellowing.  Let's see what happens now after you lose a few free agents this offseason.  Good riddance!